


The Copycat Job

by Elf (Elfwreck)



Category: DCU (Comics), Leverage
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 1, Community: purimgifts, Crossover, Gen, Gift Fic, Gotham City - Freeform, Heists, POV Parker (Leverage), Potential Alec Hardison/Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22981819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elf
Summary: Parker spoke very slowly and clearly: "We can't do the switch there. It needs to be at a different station.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51
Collections: Purimgifts 2020





	The Copycat Job

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rubynye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubynye/gifts).



> Rubynye, I've loved your DCU fic since Livejournal, and I couldn't resist the chance to mix my favorite heist crew with my favorite setting for "well, yeah, technically those are crimes, but we're doing them to _help_ people."  
> Beta'd by Gideon, who cleared up several facepalm-worthy errors and helped streamline the story.

Parker fanned herself with a handful of cash as she listened to Hardison describe the next stage, which was simple enough: swap the stolen artworks with the copies in transit, deliver the originals back to their owners. Later, Hardison would take care of getting refunds to the buyers.

"So we hop on the train _here_ "--he pointed to the map with the laser, and really, why couldn't she hold the laser pointer? --"and by the time we get to the station, we're in the shipping company uniforms; Eliot jams the doors to the guards' car, and--"

Eliot broke in. "So it's the Grand Central Shuffle." 

"It is not the Grand Central Shuffle; there's no bellhop."

"You don't need a bellhop if you've got a wiretap, which we do." 

Parker tuned them both out. They were going to keep arguing, and that was just stupid. The Grand Central Shuffle didn't need a bellhop but it did need suitcases and you can't just use shipping crates instead, but there was no point in telling _them_ that, so she looked at the map again. She just needed to sort out the timing on the uniform switch…

"Wait," she said, interrupting them. "You have to change it."

"What? No!" Hardison said. "Change what?"

Parker spoke very slowly and clearly: "We can't do the switch there. It needs to be at a different station."

"It can't be; that's where they're delivering the copies."

"You can hack it, right? Make them deliver it somewhere else."

Hardison sighed, and Parker thought, _Uh-oh; this wasn't going to go well_. "I _could_ ," he said, "but if we switch the delivery plans, they'll notice, and this whole thing only works if they don't check on anything until they receive the shipment."

"Maybe they won't check." Parker tried not to look nervous. "I mean, they're greedy and stupid; maybe they'll get sloppy?" 

Eliot snorted. "If they were sloppy, they wouldn't have done this scam six times already."

Hardison looked at the map again, looked at the train routes, and then turned back to her and smiled. 

"I know what this is," he said. (She knew he really didn't.) He got that look where he was soooo sure he was so smart, and he thought he had it all figured out, and he _knew_ that look made her want to stab people, and he smiled _even wider_ because he knew she wasn't going to stab him, so she glared at him more (instead of the stabbing, dammit). 

"Aww, Parker, are you afraid of the big… bad… Bat?" 

_What?_ It was amazing how someone so smart could be so dumb sometimes. 

"What? No!" 

"I mean, I get it. He's scary. That's why nobody wants to work in Gotham except the people who already work in Gotham. Which is why they're doing the switch there, so yeah, no, we really can't change it. But don't worry; we'll keep you safe." He nodded at Eliot, who nodded back.

Parker was ready to break something over their heads. "I am not afraid of Batman," she said. 

"Well, then there's no problem," Hardison insisted.

Dammit. She supposed they could do the switch in Gotham, and maybe it'd be fast enough.

It was not fast enough.

Parker was loading the third set of copied artifacts onto the cart, about to haul them to the truck, when she heard someone land behind her. She didn't bother turning around; she'd recognize that drop anywhere.

"Well, hello, kitten," came the sultry voice. "Back in Gotham? Do you remember what I said I'd do if I caught you working in my city again?"

"Hi," Parker muttered. "Not working in Gotham." She wasn't, not really. This wasn't work. Or not work like Catwoman did, so she didn't need help and wasn't going to split the take.

Selena scoffed quietly. "Sure looks like working. Or would you like me to believe you actually have a job with Empowered Delivery and you haul boxes for a living?"

Parker turned around. "It's not a job-job," she said. "Not a real thing. It's a… fake job."

"A fake… theft job?" Selena said. 

Parker nodded. "Yep. Fake theft job," she said brightly. "So I'll just be finishing this up and then we'll be out of your way," and she started to turn back to the cart.

"Who's 'we,' kitten?" 

Oops. Parker tapped her earpiece and whispered, "Could use a little help here…"

Like magic, Hardison and Eliot came around from both sides of the truck where she'd been loading boxes. 

"So who's this," Selena asked.

"Oh. Um. This is… my team. Catwoman, team. Hardison, Eliot, say hi to… Catwoman."

Selena looked them over--Hardison's easy grace and eyes that missed nothing, Eliot's barely leashed violence, the way they flanked her--and nodded slowly.

"So it is, kitten. Looks like you finally found yourself a crew." 

"Yep," Parker said, popping the final _p_. "Crew."

Hardison broke in. "And we'd love to stay and chat, but we're… kinda busy right now. Tik tok, you know." 

"You're on a tight schedule with your… fake theft job."

Hardison looked at Parker. She shrugged. He turned back to Catwoman.

"Yeah. Fake theft job."

Selena took a step forward, and both the men matched her. She could still reach Parker, but it was very clear she'd have to go through them to do it.

"You know what, Parker? I don't need to know. I'm just glad you're doing better than the last time I saw you."

"Me too," Parker said, and Catwoman laughed softly.

"Good luck with your team, and your _fake theft job_." She took a couple of steps back, and then flipped herself up to the top of the train. Then she vanished into a shadow.

Hardison nodded at Parker. "I guess maybe I owe you an apology," he said.

"Ya think?" _Batman._ He thought she was worried about _Batman_.


End file.
